Standing by my door, keys in hand, ready to start a fresh day. I remembered a task I needed to complete and popped my email open to send myself a reminder. My eye was drawn to an email from an unexpected source and even though I didn’t have time to be checking my emails, my chronic curiosity got the better of me and I opened it. To my surprise and dismay, the contents of the email revealed that someone was talking about me, spreading maliciousness: the individual who sent the email was giving me a heads up. Over the years, I’ve been on the receiving end of too many ‘heads up’ emails and social media messages. I appreciate people in my sphere looking out for me, but I admit that when I get these notifications, my heart crushes a little bit under the weight of the knowledge. In that moment, I want to lash out at the person spreading lies. I want to cut them to pieces with my sharp tongue and let them know how horrible, harmful, unnecessary, childish, deplorable, and unbecoming their behavior choice is – at least in my opinion. BUT, I cannot find a Bible example with that type of response being promoted. What I do find is Psalm 120 where David cries to the Lord to deliver him from the lying lips and deceitful tongue of those spreading falsehoods about him.
“In my distress I cried unto the Lord, and he heard me. Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue. What shall be given unto thee? or what shall be done unto thee, thou false tongue? Sharp arrows of the mighty, with coals of juniper.” ~Psalm 120:1-4
Have you ever learned through the grapevine that someone in your sphere is talking negatively about you? Perhaps it is an acquaintance, a coworker, a family member, or a fellow church member. There’s something crushing about being presented with the knowledge that someone is spreading falsehoods about you. When these exceedingly unpleasant moments come, we can follow David’s example: give it to God!
I know, easy to say, sounds catchy and everything, but how do we actually go about doing it? By telling the Lord all about it. Instead of telling your friends, coworkers, and your mom, tell the Lord. While it is true that God already knows everything and doesn’t need us to fill Him in on the details, He wants us to share with Him anyways. He wants us to bring our troubles to Him and confide in Him. I Peter instructs Christians to take our cares to the Lord: “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” Let the Lord deal with those who would spread lies and gossip. Tell Him about it and then leave it with Him.
Choose not to be offended. The problem with getting offended, even when someone has done wrong by us, is that it shifts the focus to be all about us. Me, me, me. When we choose not be offended and tell the Lord about the situation, we are putting Him first over our own ego. If we love the Lord, we should be choosing to put Him over ourselves, eliminating other people’s ability to offend us. Psalm 119:165 shows us this: “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.”
When we choose to take our frustration over the falsehoods to God, tell Him about it, set our ego aside, and not be offended: instead of walking through a day, a week, or longer with our hearts filled with outrage (that only affects us and not the person yapping about us), we will be filled with peace. We see this is Philippians 4:6-7, “Be careful for nothing: but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
A final thought on having the right focus and response when confronted with the knowledge that someone is spreading falsehoods about you is this: we cannot control other people, we can only control ourselves. There is nothing we can do that will control another person’s behavior and to try will be a futile waste of our energy, time, and capacity. We are responsible for our choices, not theirs. God will not judge us for how others treat us. He will, however, judge us for our behavior. Romans 14:12 tells us, “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.” It does not say we will give account for anyone but ourselves. Just as we will be judged by God for our own choices, in our daily life we are held responsible for our choices and no one else’s.
P.S.
Moments of dealing with the knowledge that someone is spreading lies about me makes me deeply appreciate the people in my life who keep my confidences, who don’t let others talk negatively about me (half of gossip is listening), and who are willing to be brutally honest with me when I need sharpening (even if it may hurt my feelings). These people are precious to me and are the influences I want in my life and heart.
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Proverbs 25:11
