“The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.” Proverbs 15:28
Sitting at my desk, catching up on emails, wrapping up a productive day when one caught my eye. As I read, everything around me slowly froze and my breathing stopped as I absorbed the news. I read it again, sure I was imagining some of the details. A client had mistreated one of my staff. Suddenly, like the snap of a rubber band, I was back to reality and ready to handle the offending person swiftly and harshly. The urge to stand up for my staff member fueling strong emotions and hardening my heart against the offending client.
There’s just one, teeny tiny problem with my natural reaction: it wouldn’t be wise to jump into action at the first presentation of unpleasant information. Proverbs 15:28 advises that “The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.” My gut reaction of confronting the offender while filled with indignation would not meet the description of the righteous. Unfortunately, it would fall under the other description and that’s no good… executing my natural reaction would put me in the wicked category, one I would like to avoid.
There is a natural urge to jump to the defense of other people for whom we are responsible. On its own, that desire is not a problem. It becomes a problem when we allow ourselves to immediately react on it. Proverbs 15:28 clearly advises that the righteous study to answer – they wait!
As I started asking questions and gathering information, the scope of the story began to reveal itself. There was nothing to be done that day, I needed more information and would have to wait until the following day to ensure I had all of the facts straight. The next morning, to be transparent, I was still of the mindset to handle the offender harshly. I was able to verify that the offending client was not only unkind and disrespectful to one of my administrative team, but they were overheard by another staff member disrespecting the administrator to other clients while still in our building. The administrator in question had kindly but firmly enforced a policy when the client wanted an exception to be made. My heart wants to leap into action and inform the client that they will no longer be able to avail themselves of our services. I want to go from zero to sixty right now. Swift and immutable. However, that reaction is greater than the offense committed. After gathering all of the facts and taking time to reflect on what response is measurable to the offense, it would be more appropriate to have a meeting with the client where I may inform them that future conduct of this nature will result in our services being immediately revoked. Above my desire to defend my staff member must be a desire to please my Savior in my actions, to be righteous in my own behaviors.
Studying to answer is taking time to gather and consider all the facts, taking time to contemplate the situation and preferred outcome, to deliberate the weight of all relevant variables, and then choose the wisest response. The easiest thing to do is let the emotions take over and go on the war path in our staff member’s defense. Most often, that is not the appropriate response – though from time to time swift and non-negotiable consequences are entirely appropriate.
Before we provide a response to a challenging situation or upsetting piece of information, we must take the time to do our due diligence and ensure we respond in a manner that is righteous and not wicked. We must delay our reaction until we can gather the facts, assess the full situation, and choose a response that both reflects well on our Lord and is appropriate for the situation.
